The Pathogen Papers Part 5: The Piranha Pool:

When the "Safe Harbor" Isn't Safe

Sep 17, 2025

The Purity Test and the Proxy War

When an adult survivor enters these online spaces, they are often subjected to a purity test. This is where the term "piranha pool" becomes a lived reality. Emotionally unhealed, targeted parents often swarm a survivor with questions, initially for understanding, but that may lead to a few seeking data to validate their own narrative. If the survivor's answers don't perfectly align with their rigid worldview, or if they offer any nuance, the unhealed parent attacks, interrogating the survivor's trauma and picking their story apart until the survivor feels their bones have been picked clean.

This is the moment a survivor realizes they are not seen as their child's voice, but as someone who is not giving the answers the targeted parent wants. They are not seen as a person; they are a proxy for an estranged child. However, they may not be attacking survivors; they are pre-emptively attacking their own child for any future thought crime, any potential disloyalty. They are rehearsing the very behavior that guarantees their child will never feel safe returning.

Finding:

Many online support communities for "targeted parents," which should be a safe harbor for survivors, are in fact toxic "piranha pools." This dynamic is driven by the unhealed trauma of some members, which manifests as aggressive, controlling behavior that re-traumatizes adult survivors and raises critical questions about whether some "targets" are perpetrators performing the role of the victim.

Analysis:

When you escape a psychological prison, you instinctively search for a safe harbor. You look for people who understand—fellow survivors, and especially, the community of parents who claim to have lost their own children to the same dynamic. You expect empathy. You expect safety. What you often find instead is a piranha pool.

A Word on Trauma

Let's begin with a necessary dose of clinical empathy. The parents in these online communities are almost universally victims of profound loss and unresolved trauma. Their pain is real. Their grief is valid. What I am talking about is the unhealed, complex trauma, which can metastasize. It can manifest as obsessive rage, hypervigilance, and a perpetual need for validation that, ironically, can mirror the all-or-nothing pathology of the very person they are fighting (Herman, 1997, p. 121). This is not an excuse for their behavior; it is a clinical explanation for it.

The Purity Test and the Proxy War

When an adult survivor enters these online spaces, they are often subjected to a purity test. Their experience is only welcome if it perfectly aligns with the group's rigid narrative of pure victimhood and pure evil. Any nuance is seen as a betrayal. As an adult survivor, you quickly realize you are not seen as a person; you are a proxy for their estranged child. They are not attacking you; they are pre-emptively attacking their own child for any future thoughtcrime, any potential disloyalty.

The Great Unmasking

This pattern of behavior forces a difficult and necessary question: How many parents in these groups are truly "targeted," and how many are the pathogenic parents themselves, simply performing the role of the victim? When you see a "targeted" parent exhibiting the same black-and-white thinking, intolerance for dissent, and vicious personal attacks as a clinically defined pathogen, a professional profiler has to analyze the data. The behaviors are often indistinguishable.

The Gas Mask Problem

Exhibit A:

I have experienced this firsthand.The 'piranha pool' dynamic is on full display in the online attacks directed at survivors. As seen in Appendix C, Exhibit C-3, a commenter who claims to be a victim of family and domestic violence (FDV) exposes her own pathogenic behavior. She displays classic black-and-white thinking, stating that the only possible logic is her own (Appendix C, Exhibits 1-8). This is a textbook example of the purity tests and toxic behavior that adult survivors face in these communities.

A stark example of this dynamic is documented in Appendix C, Exhibit 8. After publicly agreeing with a single, reasonable post about children's rights, I was met with a vitriolic attack. The commenter referred to me as "it" and accused me of profiting from harming families simply for breaking from perceived ideological lines. This is the moment an adult survivor realizes they are not seen as a person, but as a proxy for the attacker's estranged child. The attack is not about the present disagreement; it is a pre-emptive strike against their own child for any future thought crime or potential disloyalty.

They are rehearsing the very behavior that guarantees their child will never feel safe returning. This is not a conscious act. Driven by unhealed trauma, their rage is so blinding that they cannot see the adult survivor in front of them. Instead, they see a stand-in for their own child and are 'acting out' on this proxy, practicing the very rejection and conditional love they would show if their own child ever dared to step out of line. It is a live-fire drill for a future confrontation, and the survivor is the target practice. This is the tragic irony: in their desperate fight for their child, their behavior becomes a fortified wall that ensures the child can never come home.

Conclusion:

The ultimate tragedy of the piranha pool is that it inadvertently helps the pathogenic parent. It creates a desolate world where a child has no safe place to land. But it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to be a victim without becoming a vector for more trauma.

In Part 6, we will lay out the blueprint for how to drain the pool and build a true safe harbor: How Not to Be a Piranha.

References

Herman, J. L. (1997). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

About the Author

Dawn McCarty is a #1 international best-selling author and award-winning cybersecurity expert who applies the rigorous principles of threat detection and risk management to the complex landscape of childhood trauma. An abduction survivor turned global advocate, her work in promoting systemic reform earned her the Catalyst for Change Award for advancing SDG #10 – Reduced Inequalities.

Dawn’s personal story—marked by abduction, grooming, and the weaponization of the Mormon religion within a dynamic of pathogenic or cult-like parenting, is the driving force behind her life's work. This lived experience, combined with over 25 years in cybersecurity and a background in cyberpsychology, gives her a rare, 360-degree understanding of both technological and human threats. She uniquely compares the breach of a child's safety to a critical security breach in a system, providing innovative strategies for threat detection, risk mitigation, and building resilience.

This synthesis of survivor insight and expert analysis is the foundation of her upcoming Unsealed Trilogy. The series begins with her gripping memoir, Sealed to My Abductor; continues with the analytical framework, Doctrine of One: The Cult of Two; and culminates in the groundbreaking clinical dissection, Anatomy of a Mind-F*ck. She is also the creator of the Digital Defense series, which equips families against cyber and AI-related threats.

Her multidisciplinary expertise is grounded in extensive academic training, with degrees in Criminal Justice (B.S. in Psychology of Victimology, M.S. in Crime Scene and Evidence Management), B.S. in Computer Science, and an MBA in Cybersecurity. As the founder of the Thrivers Speak® and Securing Everything, and co-founder of the Nothing About Us, Without Us (NAUWOU™) conference, Dawn leads the charge to protect children from online predators and toxic family dynamics, particularly those involving severe Child Psychological Abuse (CPA) linked to undue influence, child predators, pathogenic parenting, alienation, and abduction.

Through her writing, speaking, and advocacy, Dawn provides a roadmap for deconstructing trauma and creating safe, informed environments for the next generation.

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